70ties to present

The Street Fighter’s Last Revenge

Director: Shigehiro Ozawa
Country/ Year: Japan 1974

The final part of the martial arts trilogy staring Sonny Chiba has been mauled as bad the crooks the titular hero is after. Messy dubbing and re-cutting multiply the chronological and logical gaps.

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The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

Director: Anthony M. Lanza
Country/ Year: USA 1971

“Don’t You see what these maniacs have done to us?” Sure, they made Bruce Dern a mad doctor who is married to Marilyn Munster and creates the fraternization of an imbecile and a murderer.

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Director: Ralph Nelson
Country/ Year: USA 1976

Sex leaves one old and haggard. So is the experience Rock Hudson’s genealogist who’s fast-growing female creation turns into a killer after coupling it with her maker. Anyone remember “Species”?

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Silent Night, Bloody Night

Director: Theodore Gershuny
Country/ Year: USA 1974

Some houses are evil, wrote Shirley Jackson. Too bad John Carradine and the Factory members visiting the creepy Butler home never read her. Santa brings some Madness, murder and perversion.

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Blood Tide

Director: Richard Jeffries
Country/ Year: UK 1982

Did You listen when the literature teacher mentioned something about Cassiopeia and a kraken? Well, director Jeffries did and rehashed it in his hopeless treasure-hunter-releases-sea-monster-tale.

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Planet of Dinosaurs

Director: James K. Shea
Country/ Year: USA 1978

“I don’t think a chicken laid these…” Right, on the earthlike planet, where the space crew landed, it was dinos! But never mind, since more danger comes from the female protagonist’s ineptness.

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Director: Kinji Fukasaku
Country/ Year: Japan 1980

Hugely expensive and of epic length, the warning of the intertwined dangers of military science and paranoia qualifies as the „Heaven´s Gate“ of science fiction: a financial flop due to its pensiveness.

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Cosmos: War of the Planets

Director: Alfonso Brescia
Country/ Year: Italy 1977

Somewhere during the stitched-up space oddity, a sage named Amok who says “My voice is pure thought that reaches the mind.” Ok, so tis pure trash that reaches the eye. Lean back and relish it.

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Horror Express

Director: Eugenio Martin
Country/ Year: Spain, UK 1972

Think of a spanish version of “Who goes there?”, taking place in the Trans-Siberian railroad instead of the north pole and You get an idea of the low-budget ghost train ride. Don’t be ashamed to get a ticket, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee got theirs, too.

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